Somewhere along the way, the conversation stopped being a conversation. We help you find your way back to each other.
You didn't come here because you stopped loving each other. You came here because the same argument keeps happening in different clothes, and you're both tired of losing it.
Maybe you've become experts at avoiding the topics that hurt. Maybe every small thing turns into a big thing, and neither of you can remember how it started. Maybe you still love each other and you genuinely cannot figure out why it's this hard to be in the same room.
Couples therapy is a place to slow the whole thing down. Not to assign a winner, not to decide who's the problem, but to understand the cycle that keeps catching you both, and to learn, again, how to be heard by the person whose opinion matters most.
Who couples therapy is for
- ✓Couples stuck in the same fight, the one where the topic changes but the feeling never does
- ✓One of you pursues and presses for connection while the other pulls back and goes quiet, and you both end up more alone
- ✓Partners rebuilding trust after a rupture, a betrayal, a hard season, or years of slow drift
- ✓Couples who aren't in crisis at all, who simply want to grow closer, communicate better, and protect what they have
- ✓Partners navigating a big transition together: a new baby, a move, a diagnosis, blending families, or cultural and generational expectations pulling in different directions
How we work with couples
Emma Crissman, LMFT, leads our relational and family work, and couples therapy is squarely her craft. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, she looks at the two of you as a system, not two people to be judged, but a pattern that has quietly taken on a life of its own.
Most of the fights on the surface aren't really about the dishes or the text you didn't answer. Underneath is an older, more tender question: do I matter to you, will you show up, am I safe here. When we can name the fight under the fight, the argument stops being a battle and starts being information. That's where repair begins.
Working from a family-systems lens, and drawing on mindfulness and emotion-regulation skills, Emma helps you both learn to stay present when the old reflexes fire, so you can say the real thing instead of the defended thing. You'll leave with practical ways to interrupt the cycle in the moment, and over time you'll build something sturdier underneath it: the felt sense that you're on the same side.
What the work looks like together
We map the cycle
Early on we get curious about your particular loop, who reaches, who retreats, what each of you feels right before it starts. Naming the pattern together takes the blame off either of you and puts it on the cycle, where it belongs.
We find the fight under the fight
Underneath the recurring argument is usually a softer need going unmet. We slow down enough to hear it, so the conversation can finally be about what it was always about.
We build safety and repair
You'll learn to regulate in the heat of it, to reach for each other instead of away, and to repair after a rupture rather than let it harden. Repair is a skill, and it's teachable.
You practice reconnection
The goal isn't a couple that never argues. It's a couple that can argue and come back, that can be honest and stay close, that trusts the relationship can hold the hard conversations.
Good things to know
Do both partners need to want couples therapy for it to work?
It helps if you're both willing, but it's normal for one of you to arrive more hopeful than the other. Ambivalence is welcome in the room. What matters is that you both show up honestly, and we go from there together.
Is couples therapy only for relationships in crisis?
Not at all. Plenty of the couples we see aren't in crisis, they simply want to communicate better, feel closer, and stay ahead of the patterns before they calcify. Strengthening a good relationship is meaningful work, not a last resort.
Does insurance cover couples therapy, and what does it cost?
Our practice offers private pay and some insurance, along with limited sliding-scale spots and out-of-network superbills. Coverage for couples work varies by plan, so the clearest picture is on our Fees page, and we're glad to talk it through.
Can we do couples therapy over telehealth?
Yes. We work with couples via secure telehealth anywhere in California, whether you're side by side on one screen or joining from two different places. Many couples find their own home an easier place to be honest.
Related services
Areas we work with here
You’ve read this far for a reason.
When you’re ready, a brief consultation is a gentle first step, no pressure, no obligation.
or call (626) 539-7290